The Biochemical Highs (and lows)

Cortisol. Adrenaline. Oxytocin. All natural.

They all change your state of mind.

They all have a signature trigger and post effect.

Cortisol

Anticipation and stress call it in.

I feel energized, but the angry sort.

I am trapped in the energy.

Music matching the flavor is the only relief.

When it returns to normal levels,

Numbness takes over.

It's the numbness that makes you feel drained.

A little time and a little sleep suffice correction.

Adrenaline

Also high-energy, but it's excitement.

You can accomplish anything on this stuff.

I pace around while waiting in line;

It's not my turn but I can't contain myself.

Back to normal and I can physically feel again.

My energy isn't jacked so high,

But there isn't a noticeable low here.

A is special that way.

The worst is the return of physical pain.

It's a small price, usually.

Oxytocin
Oxy is my favorite. I call it happy brain.

It gives the highest highs and the lowest lows.
I'm stuck in a cycle of getting oxi then losing it.

I spend the lows working.

The highs can be enjoyed unimpeded.

When I lose it, I'm numb.

This numb is an odd bliss:

I can't function but I'm content staring in thought.

Then the normal state sets back in...

In comparison to the oxi dose,

It's a pit of despair.

All you want is to get back to the source,

And when you can't, nothing is enough to replace it.

Time away resets the norm.

But a week between findings,

It is enough to fuel the search for the next round.

If

<If you died today would you have regrets?>

I can think of one thing I would regret.

<And?>

Never telling someone I love them...

<So why don't you?>

It feels too soon.

<You could mean Philo...>

But I want to mean Agape when I say it.

<I know you better than anyone;>

<If you'll say it you mean it...>

<Even if not spoken.>

So what is your point?

<Easy, you know exactly what you're feeling.>

So I should speak it aloud?

<Not necessarily.>

<Time and place.>

POLE VAULT

Practice practice practice
Overcome any fears
Love to get high
Everything will fall into place

Variable results

Avoid rejection and crashes

Unlimited risks

Let go but not too soon (or too late)

Tempo makes or breaks

Useless - High Absentminded Utterances Live

I watch time tick by. 

There are pages to read and sleep to greet,

But all I can do is sit and stare.

I have so many thoughts running in a blur,

Yet my mind is empty.

All I can manage is muttered high nothings to myself.

I remember resting my head and hearing a heart pounding.

It pounds so hard I can feel the pulses - and sense the excitement.

~Could you hear it in your head~

~Did you feel like you were racing~

~Were you nervous~

I check myself to see if my heart races as well;

My breathing is stable but it takes a conscious effort.

The moment was perfect,

Time was frozen as we stood

Reading old words and asking new questions.

Don't worry about time. Subjective.

There is no fast or slow,

Only comfortable and uncomfortable.

Stereotypes are overrated, mundane,

So let's forge our own story.