Only a Game

Everything is a game to me;

The game is a cruel demon.

It is secretive, revealing itself atom by atom.

Even the gentlest bump from the demon will drain the soul:

The game is a power struggle;

Power over threats, threats posed by those closest.

The demon's lightest shake causes death:

The soul crumbles under power's chain, corrupted.

The body returns to dust;

Demon's talon beckons the cells apart.

<You make little sense...>

<Where does this game begin, let alone end?>

The game begins at the end; 

It ends deep within the mind's shadows.

As the end draws near,

The beginning oozes forth.

Self Awareness

Self-awareness serves much purpose.

It's purest form, a rare gift to find.

Forms:  Physical. Psychological. Spiritual.

Physical:

The body is mysterious,

Often changing through age;

It has many parts to explore, inside and out.

Best to know one's own body,

Before being caught off guard at the changes it's gone through.

Psychological:

More complex then imaginable;

Less understandable then paper portrays believable.

We try to understand,

Try to know it like the back of our hand.

We untwist section by section...

Only to see new twists awaiting detection.

Spiritual:

We all search for something,

Something reliable to get us to tomorrow.

Nothing for a solid grasp,

Means slipping out of life's safety clasp.

Honesty to face true thoughts;

Our biggest struggle:

Accepting with what we are caught.

Trap Door

The the face-hole which makes words is a fascinating door.

Many times is pays to open, but often it pays to keep one's trap shut.

How can one be sure it which scenario they are in?

Humans possess the gift of common sense;

It proves useful for such an occasion.

Fire. Acid. Poison. Whip. Chain. Knife.

Medicine. Lifeline. Guide. Freedom's key. Game changer. Peacekeeper.

All embodiments of this door.

All lurking beneath this trap's mouth.

Who can tame the trap?

It is said to be untamable.

Who's job is it to see the trap be made effective for good?

The owner. 

But what if the owner is incapable of mastering this trap?

Let the owner's more capable caretaker teach the first commands.

The owner shall grow into the job.

Dangerous and unpredictable. 

Challenging and precious.

Over Protecting VS Safety Guard

<Why are my parents so over protective>

I think you are mistaking over protecting with guarding safety.

<There's a difference?>

Yes. There is a difference. And a significant one at that.

Over protecting would be treating the average safety bar like it was nonexistent.

Their "average" safety bar would be the norm for elevated-high security.

Safety guarding is more along the lines of:

[Hey I know what's out there and you don't, so I need you to trust me on this.]

[I'll explain more when you show me you're ready to know]

[There are bad people there. I don't want you in the wrong place at the wrong time.]

<Okay... But who's to say what's average?>

Hmm. Perhaps whoever is in charge of said person.

<Sure then>

<But what if the "average" for one differs from the "average" of another?>

Then I'd say it is best to agree to disagree.

Look, let's say one person is not allowing their child to do something in concern for their safety;

Appreciate they care.

The kid can't control what their parent picks as safe and unsafe.

They can only control their response.

<I understand>
<It's ultimately out of the kid's control where they go/what they do>
<Best we can do and appreciate concern>

To a Friend

Met you at church, but connected last year;

Learned during class you live near;

Easily made friends and have stories to hear.

Told me of friends whom I knew not;

Let me hear troublesome tales without fear of being caught.

Shared some deep thoughts,

Thoughts which [for some] would cause a fight to be brought.

Showed me some of you,

Showed you some of me,

Yet still you don't even know.

So I'll start my tales for you to take in;

You'll listen and give feedback with no judgment hidden.

We make good friends for each other in this crazy place;

So allow me to say I'll be keeping touch,

Even if between us is vast space.

Home Is...

What is home?

Where is home?

How does one find home?

Is home where the heart is?

Is home familarity?

Is home where family is?

Is home a place or concept?

Is home a fixed location or ever changing?

Is home factual or social?

Is home determined by oneself or by surrounding folk?

Is home truly attainable in the mundane world?

Very Special Friend

I release you. Go live your own life.

<No! I want my life with you...>

And you will have it, but not as it has been.

I am done playing the game here.

Done being given slack and brought back.

<You know that's not what we are; don't say that>

Ah but my friend, that was always my reality of us.

<YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY AGAIN>

I assure you, I am not running away.

As I have said already, I will never run away again.

I meant it.

<WELL IT FEELS THE SAME......>

You will discover what made you special among my friends.

And you will see a change.

<Good to know I'm a pile of cow poop to you now>

[Resentful/Hurt expression]

You'll be happier without me actively chasing you.

I will be less in your business. It will make me judge you a lot less.

 In the right time, I will take you again, if you so desire.

But for now, I will wait ever so silently.
I have my own life to live too.

We will still have our friendship quirks, don't think you're getting out of tails, Breh.

And you are always my "very special friend".

We Are What We Are

I have always learned people are either together or they're not.
Straddling that line confuses me...

<It's not so confusing as you make it out to be>

<Try to stop obsessing over what this is>

You're right. I should try to stop. It's eating me alive trying to figure it out.

The truth is there's no obvious answer. 

We are what we are.

<Ye, and I like whatever that is; I don't need anything more>

I know. I'll accept that for now.

You're worth sticking around for kid.

Cookie Pride Sonnet

Pride, you are my favorite cookie.

In bits you fill life’s hollow kettle,

But too much and its contents play hooky.

I savor your crunch, letting it settle.

You fill to the brim sweet promises of gold.

Everything dreamed shows clear like diamonds.

Yet sour remains lurk just as bold.

You bite back as an allergy to almonds,

Bites so hard yet an indulgence so tempting.

Forever lasting smoothness in your texture.

While in its glory, all will start hating.

Do not seek this for too much pleasure.

Pride, how you’re always prone to stumble.

Why can’t you learn to be more humble?

9th Grade Sonnet

It knows only cruelty and how to shame;

Must be awoken by the sincere

Loves as the predator loves to spare game,

Screaming so loud itself cannot hear.

I try for freedom, but was molded this way.

My heart beats, yet lies in steely chains;

Chains which fight for hatred of men each day

Withholds me using the tautest reins;

And what could stop this lifeless steel heart?

A box of concrete shall be its end;

Painting of storms the site's graven art

No hook nor wrench will the door to bend.

He who is sincere awaken by theft;

My heart in steely chains rests in death.

DREAM WORLDS

Dare to imagine
Remember wishes
Explore
Alter reality
Made from you

Wonder and ponder
Oblivion and consciousness
Remake yourself
Loose and malleable
Derail fact from fiction
Symbols to the face of life's mask

SUMMER

School hibernates
Uh... What day is it again
More sleep
Munch on snacks
Every night = daytime
Reality check... School time again

Rebound

Knew you'd need a friend;

Knew you'd need time to mend;

Stuck around so my services I could lend.

Took a chance and jumped the cliff;

Ready to face 1000 jagged edges for you.

Forgot you might still have recovery to do..

Now I've remembered that possibility;

Perhaps you are protecting from casualties.

Put in perspective and renewed my patience stability.

Scared Away

<You scared me away...>

I scared you away?

<*nods*>

I think not.

I believe you are scared away by fear.

Fear of me?

Fear of my intentions?

Fear of my thoughts?

Fear of conclusions?

<STOP IT>

<JUST STOP>

<Stop asking questions I don't know the answer to>

I believe you know the answer.

Everyone has an answer to everything.

["I don't know" ≈ I haven't decided]

[Silence ≈ inability to verbalize]

[Running away ≈ inability to cope]

<That is not how I see it>

["I don't know" = I don't know]

[Silence = thought before words]

[Running away = accepting defeat and moving on]

Then by your logic, I should accept defeat and run.

I cannot crack you code, for lack of better word.

But I will not run.

I'll be awaiting your return. 

Whenever you are ready, I am here. 

Grasp

Asleep? I can't seem to find sleep's grasp.

Slowly. Slowly I catch sleep's scent...

It calls. Beckons.

But I feel a wire:

It cries to be heard.

Tells me I must stay awake,

But for what?

Perhaps I am in need of wire cutters?

I would gladly surrender to sleep's call,

If only it was so simple. 

Because pain demands to be felt..

Whether by dream,

Or by consciousness.