How the Others Grow Up

We learn from society.

"Jonny, when you're about middle school age, 

you'll start to get special feelings for girls."

Or the other option.

"Jane, when you're about middle school age, 

you'll start to get special feelings for boys."

No one tells you how the others grow up.

We have to figure it out ourselves.

I went dumbstruck around this classmate. 

There was something magnetic about her.

I wanted to get to know her, be her friend.

Once we were great friends. 3rd grade.

Of course, this was 6th grade.

I was still innocent and knew nothing helpful.

I tried to befriend her.

We wrote letters to each other for a few weeks.

It was fun, and I thought I had made her my friend.

But then our friendship structure failed.

I don't know what went wrong.

I never did anything.

But I couldn't talk to her anymore easily.

She made me too uncomfortable.

I wanted to make conversation, but fell silent.

Maybe... May..be... I liked her?

No couldn't be, could it?

But I never wanted to kiss her.

I didn't have interested in sex then/knew much about it.

But I did want to be around her.

I wanted her attention.

I was somewhat jealous others got along with her better.

I didn't know what to think.

No one prepares you for it.

You find it yourself.