A letter to my braces (and ortho)

Dear braces,

Thank you for straightening my teeth. You did your job well. I am sorry I cannot appreciate you more. As it turns out, it has been 5 years since we parted ways and I still cannot think about the time we spent together without thought spiraling into an anxious wreck. Unfortunately my fantasies of a theoretical reunion bring only thoughts of misery, destruction, and lethality. I admit, it is of no fault of your own, though I do not believe it was mine either. I contend that you were only doing your job and I was too young to object to our meeting and ensuing relationship. I wish you good bye forever and hope that other people's encounter with you is more positive.

To my orthodontist:

Thank you kind sir for completing the removal my braces after I mostly removed them myself at home in a moment of mental breakdown. You saved me from further irreversible trauma and for that I am eternally grateful.