Eyeballs

I am weightless in my void,

But my body screams for air.

Must I surface?

I am content in my cocoon of darkness,

And the shallows are haunted by stiffs.

Must I surface?

They come to me.

When I surface they come to my side,

Except when they don't,

Because sometimes they won't.

Some stay away.

They back up,

Some slow,

Some quick.

But they watch.

They always watch.

Must I go to the surface?

I heave myself out of the undertow.

The deep longs to keep me,

Wraps me up and pulls me inwards.

I lunge and grope my way forwards.

<It's back!>

<This time I'll have you, beast.>

Che è la differenza?

 Ti prego, me la dici.

Che è la differenza tra l'altr* ed io?

La mia mente?

La mia voce?

La mia personalità?

La mia abitudini?

Il mio passato?

Ho paura delle mie idee,

Per la ragione che

La domanda mi farà la stessa cosa.

Penso e penso.

Dai.

Studio e studio.

Perché è difficile di aver rispetto?

Innato

 “Anyways, you can't make them your best friend because I'm your best friend and if they become your best friend then I'll have to make him my best friend to restore some semblance of our inbred dynamic” (ahaha scherzando)

Sento. Senso.

Lo sento. Ha senso.

Mi sento. Ho senso.

Il fiume. I torrenti. 

La raccolta. Le verità. 

Connessione sociale.

Catene sociali.

Ma che penso io?

Si, ci penso.

Credo che avere un buon senso della realtà,

Però

Credo anche che ci sono molte realtà in gioco.

La gente sta complicata.

Lo so.

La gente sta un po' troppo.

Lo so.

E anche, scelgo a seguirl*.

La chiave all'informazione è 

Di essere nel mezzo del ciclo

Mentre la mente resta fuori.

Anarchy

<Love is abundant and every relationship is unique.>

<Love and respect instead of entitlement>

<Finding your core set of relationship values>

<Heterosexism is rampant out there, but don't let fear lead you.>

<Build for the lovely unexpected.>

<Fake it 'til you make it.>

<Trust is better.>

<Change through communication>

<Customizing your commitments>

*The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy

Love: I Corinthians 13:4-7,13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Relationship values: Philippians 2:3-4

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Fear not social scripts: Romans 12:2; I John 4:18

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Expect the unexpected: I Corinthians 10:13

13 No [test] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be [tested] beyond what you can bear. But when you are [tested], he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Sticking to values: Matthew 5:4-5,7,9

4 Blessed are those who mourn,

    for they will be comforted.

5 Blessed are the meek,

    for they will inherit the earth.

7 Blessed are the merciful,

    for they will be shown mercy.

9 Blessed are the peacemakers,

    for they will be called children of God.

Choosing trust: Psalm 112:5; Matthew 7:12

5 Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,

    who conduct their affairs with justice.

12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Change by communicating Love: Romans 12:17-18,21

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Commitments: Romans 12:9-10

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

*NIV

Bi/Pan

Bi

It's having choice.

No.

It's seeing choice.

No.

It's giving yourself permission to choose.

<It's a crossroad.>

<It's a moment of indecision.>

<It's a look into two futures.>

You're wrong.

It's acknowledgement of both.

It's juggling two headspaces.

It's balancing two ends of a scale.

Pan

It's increasing choice.

No.

It's seeing choices.

No.

It's giving yourself permission not to choose.

<It's a spider's web.>

<It's a life of indecision.>

<It's… >

Stop.

It's acknowledgement of complexity.

It's working across contexts.

It's trusting averages.

GHOST

Gone with the wind.

Have my back or go away.

Open my eyes to the impossible or hang me from the cliff's edge.

Step into the stage lights and own your form.

Tell me I can trust you while showing me you know the same

Break/Brake

Look me in the eye:

I will make you break first.

One yip too loud.

One laughter too strong.

One gasp too shrill.

I'm looking into your depths,

And I've decided:

You can't make me break first.

Every growl controlled.

Every cackle whispered.

Every breath focused.

You won't break me. 

But I forget myself:

One chomp too stiff.

I meet your gaze:

You've lost your will.

It’s time to stop. 

Bad timing.

Unlucky day.

You look into my eye:

I hit the brakes.

Patience (re-visited)

Patience:

Not complaining while waiting?

Or

Self-occupying while waiting?

It’s the self-challenge.

It’s the little things. 

It’s living in the present.

It’s not something that can be shown.

But it’s observable, over time. 

Others notice.

It's funny how patience can feel not so.

When the present is enjoyable for its own sake,

It is simply part of the experience.

And it's a good part.

There's also the game in anticipation:

Theorizing outcomes.

Playing 4D chess.

Waiting to see if hunches are accurate.

Reading is an art.

Compiling observations and making sense of them is an art.

Figuring out the ending is an art.

When patience is an art,

It is not tedious.

Comunque

Forse non è possibile di conoscere qualcuno

all'inizio della relazione.

OPPURE...

Forse apparenze siano essattamente che sembrano.

Comunque,

Sono felice che

Ci siamo incontratt*.

La notte perfetta

Con l’amic* perfett*.

Insieme in sangue

È difficile.

Lo so. 

Hai paura.

Lo so.

Ti sembra di essere da solo.

Lo so.

Vorrei prenderti

Nelle braccia.

Vorrei prender

Tutti i tuoi problemi.

Vorrei scampare

Tutte le paure.

Però

Non ho il potere.

Non ho la chiave.

Non ho i denari.

Ho solo il mio tempo

E le mie parole.

E se le cose che io abbia

Non sono abbastanze?

Non sono sufficient*?

Mannaggia.

Spiace.

A Rose...

…By Any Other Name...

Chapters

It's that time again.

This chapter is coming to a close,

And the next is to be written.

So the question is: How?

Flesh Baby

 You, hooman, 

Can they serve your needs?

Are you a good pair?

Can they really be yours?

 

When you choose them,

Will they join up?

 

When you're excited,

Will you let them join in?

When you’re down,

Will they know how to cheer you up?

 

When you need help,

Will you allow them to act?

You, hooman,

Do you trust them to love you back?

A-Stray

Oh four-limbed friend,

 

Do you dare let them take you in?

Do you dare give them your spirit?

Do you dare trust them with your soul?

 

When you badger them for attention,

Will they know when to give?

And when to distract?

 

When you roll in the dirt,

Will they clean you up?

Will they continue to nurture your play?

 

When they see your tail between your legs,

Will they know what that means?

Will they know what you need?

 

Oh four-limbed friend,

Do you dare trust Love?

Embodiment

~ Honey, this isn't even my final form ~