Cliff Hanger

Should we say it?

We have to say it.

Time is running out.

Do we have to mean it when we say it?

Can we keep a different scenario in our heads?

Would that be so bad?

Can't stop. Won't stop.

But we have to.

We knew when we started.

Always remember.

Take away what you learned.

Appreciate the experience.

And if we meet again?

It will be like returning to an old home.

If I had a redo,

I would change nothing.

Thank you.

Backbone

Integrity is not enough.

Without a spine the best person will fail under pressure.

Guilt will suffocate after; that is integrity kicking in.

Integrity gives the knowledge of right.

The backbone allows for integrity to shine.

It is the oil to the flame.

A spine without integrity can stand.

Though wrong it may be, it will not bend to pressure.

Woe to both which stand one without the other.

Hollow Tolerance

You get used to being in the hollow place.

You forget what it's like outside.

You tolerate your circumstance.

Still, there is a magnetic push away from the place.

Still, you know it is only a stained-glass masquerade.

Still, you take any opportunity to visit outside.

It is a constant search finding ways to delay return.

Lies come natural with reward being an out.

Even temporary leave is better than nothing.

The hollow place is hard to pinpoint.

The hollowness is not seen, only experienced.

It is a cloud of feeling:

Feeling like you must bend to every rule...

Feeling even that which should be sacred is merely plastic ritual.

Feeling a single "wrong" attribute makes you sub-human.

Feeling oppression in the facade of freedom.

The Hollow Place

Sometimes I have to change places.

If it were entirely up to me, I would not change.

I cannot control all of the circumstance.

I travel with two others.

One is in a shared mindset. 

That one is even more bitter than I.

The other still yet tries to be optimistic.

That one is only coping.

It is plunging into the abyss.

It is putting on a mask.

It is learning to deal with life's irritants.

I feel hollow when traveling to the place.

My energy is leeched away.

Frustration is the heavy substance remaining.

My eyes become encrusted with a glaze finish.

My face becomes stone.

My mind jumps between iciness and boiling continuously.

Only keys can keep the hollow place from shattering and disintigrating.

Hallways

Think of the mind as having infinite hallways. 

I've watched you walk circles around one in particular.

I've seen you inch your way down this untraveled path.

I have seen the progression as you've become more familiar with it;

I am honored I could be the one to introduce you to this place;

I am fascinated how I have the power to make you see it's not such a scary place.

I am in awe of how you have learned.

I love watching the change in behavior.

It is endearing and cute;

You've been opening up this passageway as time passes.

The path is a slow one to travel;

Patience is its own reward;

It is a beautiful thing to witness play out. 

Time is fleeting and for that I am sad.

I have so much enjoyed this time we've shared.

I intend to keep tabs and let the friendship remain.

And, in future should we meet, you are always welcome back into my domain.

Paradox

I am exhausted yet I have too much energy. 

My thinking is clouded but my mind is clear. 

I wish to be alone and I desire to be cuddled. 

I feel weightless. 

I feel compressed by the air over my head. 

I laugh often at the smallest wonders. 

I am unconsciously darkened.

I want a whole day of doing nothing.

I want to ride my bike until I can no longer move. 

I want to sit in a small space.

I want to lay out in an empty forest clearing. 

I want to listen to relaxing music. 

I want to play high-energy music so loud I can't think. 

I want to sleep now. 

And I wish xe was around to sleep here next to me... 

To feel the electricity spark between us...

To feel the sense of peace wash over... 

To feel the simple satisfaction of being in the same place.

Denial

Roadblock. Gap. Irrational. Understandable.

A defense mechanism. A preservative. A traitor.

Run. Don't stop running. Learn realization.

I'll keep patience.

I'll give the chance of overcoming denial.

I know. It's a scary step.

It's a step requiring faith.

Take even a hop and your world be flattened.

Continue a steady path to rebuild.

Denial is fire.

You can attempt to hold it.

One day your protective layer will be used;

You will learn the meaning of a burn.

Denial is a separator.

It's secret lies in its passive nature.

Before you even know, you've lost.

At least the effects are reversible.

Too bad it's an obstacle challenging to conquer.

I have faith; denial is not the end-all be-all.

Your world will re-settle;

Your comfort level will readjust.

My Perspective

I see the obvious.

I see the aesthetic everyone can detect.

I see how acts and underlying factors make for something desirable.

I lack the desire.

It's like looking through glass;

Everything is visible,

But I cannot get to it.

Nor do I want to in this case.

I'm okay standing on the outside.

Being a passive observer teaches you.

Now what about the other?

What about my side, the one less common?

Only unrestrained imagination can scratch the surface of understanding.

Again I see the obvious.

Anyone can see the serenity of a mountain view;

Only a few are blessed to sense the wonder about its existence.

It's beautiful, and you can't help but admire it.

It is not a thirst;  it is amazement.

It is the feeling of

"How can this gift exist? How can I be blessed enough to cross its path?"

Frame of reference?

Sure:

That's what it's like with xer.

Now scale it back to generality:

It is a magnet.

It is a natural proclivity to seek it out.

It is.

Just because it is difficult, 

Even impossible to understand,

Does not mean others are not experiencing it.

Fear and Courage in the Mindscape

Fear is in the mind.

The only thing fear can really do is play with us.

Don't bend to fear.

Courage is also in the mind.

The only way to harness courage is to embrace the notion of fear.

Courage can be found even where fear populates.

These two, these intangible things, they play a war game.

Play to courage because it has your back.

Allow fear to be felt; it demands acknowledgement,

But you don't have to submit under it.

Fight fear by looking it in the face.

Take the time to prepare for the moment.

Then, when you are ready, courage will be waiting.

Fear is inescapable, but it can be overcome.

Courage must be sought out, but it can be captured.

It's all in the mindscape.

STATES (indoor)

Smile and have fun
Time to show off skills
Aggressive run, plant, and swing
Take your best shot
Excitement and pride
State Champion Pole Vaulter

Success

What is success? How do you define it?

<Success is getting the job done the best.>

[Success is completing the task, and if it fails, that you learned from it.]

What if the task is business related?

<You must never show your weakness. Be the hero.>

[You must delegate to incorporate everyone's strengths.]

What if the task is a relationship?

<Marriage is the ultimate success story.>

[Every relationship brings the opportunity to learn.]

If the relationship fails, was it successful?

<Obviously not... It failed.>

[Did you learn from it? Do you regret it happened? Yes then no? Then your good.]

Is success a human characteristic?

<Yes. Humans are the only beings who can determine success.>

[Not necessarily. Success is certainly a human-made construct, but based on the logic other creatures can be successful at tasks.]

What makes someone successful?

<They are the best. No questions. It doesn't matter how they got there but they are.>

[They are the best they can be because they work for it. They learn from mistakes and are not afraid to admit wrongs.]

Surprise Accomplished

The feeling is warm.

The satisfaction feels like flying on an infinite updraft.

It's the simplicity of doing something nice,

And doing it well.

Words are not necessary for a response;

The smile and that look in the eyes speak volumes.

It's hard to describe, but the feeling is perfection.

It's the warm fuzzy feeling.

It's the squishy bubbly feeling.

It's pride when you know you did right.

It's joy.

Initiator

…

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Nerves are part of the fun.

Fear is only in the mind.

Trust is the bind.

Awkwardness is far from bad experience.

Poetic justice is an element.

The mind takes time to heal.

Emotional scars run deep.

Revenge only means what power it is given.

But the point:

It was good.

Poetic Justice

It screams silently.

It begs to be noticed.

It claws at the scene desperate to be found.

It creeps into minds looking for validation.

Its energy demands to be felt... 

The electrifying wind in the air.

Its existence holds meaning.

Its meaning is interpretable.

Those who see are in awe.

Those who are blind are blissfully unaware.

Image vs Reputation

Your image is appearance.

Your reputation is behavior.

Image is for the prying public eye.

Reputation is for the quietly perceptive.

Image is fluid.

Reputation requires time to make any shift.

Image dies with its embodiment.

Reputation continues into history.

Both are pawns of society.