Static

Electricity is funny.

It repels and attracts.

It creates fields

And shocks them when they grow too close.

Every time I walk past you.

Every time we touch.

Every time you're near.

There's always a static field.

Come break the static.

When you're ready,

I'll wait

For our charges to find common levels.

For our fields to link.

For the shock to start a spark.

Floating

Lets draw lines.

Close your eyes.

Let the line go as it pleases.

It may go square.

It may run in circles.

It may run every angle.

Let me draw lines around you.

I'll draw lines straight as circles.

They'll keep you floating

Off the paper.

<See the illusion?>

<My lines form a shadow.>

Keep drawing

My lines are coming true.

They're strings and I'm a puppet.

I'm floating,

And the lines direct my movements.

Walking

Let’s take a walk,

A walk through the mundane.

I’ll show you the path.

Look at the tree.

Look at the bushes.

Look at the puddle.

It snowed recently.

There’s ice over the puddles.

Don’t slip. 

Okay. 

Keep walking.

Look at the grass.

Look at the sky.

Feel the dirt under your feet.

Sorry.

Are you bored?

Yeah.

Me too kinda.

The Whiteboard Exercise

How I've read it works:

Close eyes.

Imagine a whiteboard.

Imagine turning the whiteboard completely black

<by paint>

<by crayon>

<by pencil>

<by pen>

<whatever, user's choice>.

My version:

Close eyes.

Apply light pressure onto eyelid

<cause yellow-white circle to appear>.

<make the whole circle glow white-hot yellow>.

Dysphoria

It's about perception.

~The intersection of the 1st and 3rd person perspective~

~The awareness of duel perspectives~

~Knowing the perceptions don't align~.

Equally important: personal feels

~The intuitive "something's off"~

~The core imbalance~

~The not-quite-right few outsiders understand~.

The shifting current

~Unstable.~

~Context the magnetic rulebook.~

~Not controlled by an on/off switch~.

The dial

~The controller~

~Unpredictable~

~Untamable~

~Location recognizable...with practice~.

May

...cause anxiety.

...be a manifestation of anxiety.

...distract from the present.

The Sound of Silence

One hundred to zero in one shot.

Plunged into the abyss.

No hints in sight.

Let's play Risk.

A hundred small steps taken.

One major move made.

Your turn.

Now let's play Poker.

It's still your turn.

Test my patience...

I'm determined to let you move first.

Jump into Trouble.

It's all in the die.

Pop pop pop.

Better get lucky.

Double the fun. Monopoly.

Two dice. One goal.

A little luck, a little know-how.

Control the board.

Sorry.

Consider it a numbers game.

Slide into the safe zone.

Don't apologize for playing the game.

How about Yahtzee?

Look,

At least you have a chance here.

Anyone for Lines?

Okay.

Odds are I'll draw you a good one.

Know that slaps game?

It's the art of eye contact.

Watch my eyes...

Trust me yet?

5 Phases

Caring-

...about.

...for.

...giving.

...receiving.

...with.

The ethical qualities

Attentiveness

[Suspension of self-interest]

Responsibility

[Taking on the burden of responsibility]

Competence

[Awareness of limits/competencies]

Responsiveness

[Preparedness to address emerging needs]

(of givers and/or receivers)

Solidarity

[Plurality]

[Communication]

[Trust]

[Respect]

Epiphany

I already guess-worked this out.

I worked through my issues long ago.

I have a clear conscience.

I was ready for the future

In the past.

You are in a unique position.

You are brave in an unusual way.

You are human in the normal manifestations.

We're a dream team.

We're good together.
You and I.

I'd never met anyone like you before,

Who completely knew me,

Who accepted me as is,

Who gave me interesting conversations,

Who was willing to break norms.

I hope I am your equal.

Brother.

10 Commandments

1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...

B Code Escalated

On the ground.

I'm seeing a single hue of color.

<You're sure you want this?>

Yep.

Do it.

The first shot.

Through my eyebrow.

The second shot.

Through my cheek.

I think it went straight through,

And went out the other side.

I'm calm.

The pain is minimal.

It's like a body piercing.

The scars are barely visible.

This is strangely unrealistic.

<How do you feel?>

I feel fine.

I do not feel fear.

Pit Falls

Think Animal Crossing.

You know those pit falls?

The ones that look like buried treasure?

That cursed star you can fall into?

The surprise you forget about existing?

Yeah. Me too.

Pit falls suck.

You have to

Flail and

Struggle and

Watch your character's wide-eyed expression

[complete with sweating].

It's really quite a sight of coding.

We've seen a lot of pit falls recently.

And I'm sorry they keep cropping up.

It does really suck.

Look around

Look around

At how lucky we are

To be alive right now.

Look at where you are.

Look at where you started.

The fact that you're alive is a miracle.

I don't pretend to know

The challenges you're facing.

...But I'm not afraid. I know you.

Remember,

We are here to help.

It's okay not to be okay.

And I love you.

...Say. Good-bye!

Take care of yourself.

You will be missed.

We won't forget you.

We'll keep in touch.

I'm glad you got to make the choice

Out of your own agency.

I'm glad you're alive.

Look around...look around

At how lucky we are to be

Alive

Right now.

I'm here to listen,

Here to understand you.

Tell me what lies in your heart

And in the telling you'll find the peace you're seeking

You'll know the way once you start.

I can't live for you,

[But] things can change.

I promise.

Cuz God don't make no trash.

Best of hubbies and best of men.

Best older brother I never had.

The B Code

Normal day. Normal class.

Darkness.

Tension.

Cue abnormality.

Is everyone in the room?

Is the door locked?

Are the windows locked?

Nope.

In and Out.

In and Out.

In and Out.

Whsk.

...and Out.

Whsk.

...and Out.

Cower. Cower.

We could die.

I've made my peace with that.

It's just a fact.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Normal day.
Team's all here.

Pause.

Over the hill crest:
Piu piu.
Whsk wsk.

Dust swirls.
Small impacts creep closer.

To my right I hiss:
Get down.
You're dead.

I sink to the floor
And hope she did the same.
I feel someone nearing.

A pull at my hair (the little there is)...
Is that metal on my head... a small hollow circle?

Wait for it...wait for it...
Wait for it.

Nothing.

I'm alive.
I am calm.
And I wake up.

FAMILY

Forever evolving, never stationary

Accepts you

Maybe dysfunction but has your back

Interdependent with each other

Legacy. What is a legacy?

You can choose as much as you cannot choose who’s included.

Hanging

It's funny

How life hangs in the balance

When we least expect it.

I wouldn't know,

Not from personal experience.

But, by proxy, yes.

That I understand.

One too many shit-shows.

One too many dark thoughts.

One too many tablets.

Let's throw another wrench:

Refuse help.

Well that complicates it

For the rest of us...

Is it really caring ethically

If we neglect your wants,

Because we want to follow the book?

Is it really good care

If we can't respect your wishes

When they don't align with our own?

Now let's throw this gear:

You don't actually want to die.

You intentionally acted

Non-lethally.

Since I believe

You aren't truly trying to die,

I cannot,

In good conscience,

Force formal outside help on you.

So I watch.

I keep you close.

I show you support.

I plan for the worst,

While hoping for the best.

And I do my best care.