Puzzle Life

What if I told you life was simply a jigsaw puzzle?

-unsolved of course-

But how, you may ask.

Organization.

Diligence.

Solution.

Life requires organization:

Prioritizing.

Making sense of Chaos.

Time managing.

Diligence is the oil keeping life's cogs smoothly churning.

We keep pushing forward.

We yearn to solve life's mysteries.

We look over our shoulder to see how much of the picture is solved.

The solution is both sad and happy.

On one hand we have accomplished the great puzzle.

On the other hand finishing marks the end of our time with the puzzle.

Still, we can step back and admire the final masterpiece,

the completed picture which makes full sense.

Life is like a puzzle.

We begin a stranger, only seeing large differences in parts.

As we progress we become more adept at seeing the nuances of each piece.

When the puzzle is complete it is time to end that stage and begin anew.

And the finished work is a beautiful sculpture unique to the journey's makings.

kb^2

What even is there to say?

I hope you love where you're going. 

I hope you make awesome friends.

I hope you grow.

But I also will miss you.

But I also will wonder what you're up to.

But I also will be sad you're far away.

I've never truly explored this line.
Straddled who's perspective to see it through.

Always felt ashamed the first connection was with you.

Because I knew how you'd see it.

Because I knew you'd wish it to not be yet be unable to change it.
Because I feared you wouldn't understand.
Or worse, misunderstand.

But I don't want this unsaid because of fear.

And everything comes to light one day.

Perhaps this will help seeing through my experience.

And yet this still doesn't cover every detail.

Even now I feel conflicted for musing in this memory lane.
- one perspective shames me-
-one perspective begs for release of built pressure-

But it feels neglectful to never speak of this.

I will always remember the connection in its original context,

Which is why I will always slink back towards it.

It was a happy period of life.

At the time I had no idea why: 

Greeting you every morning made my day brighter.

Those two minutes of lunch overlap was what I looked forward to most.

Any extra moment around you was being on top of the world.

And then I moved.

And I missed seeing you every day.

And I had to learn you couldn't be my life line.

So I adapted, after overcoming separation.

It seems He strategically breaks us apart.

Right about the time I grow conscious of you.

The first time was the most fun in memory,

Because ignorance made for innocent experience.

This time I can see things happen clearer;

I can understand my own self better.

My interpretation of things anyways.

Not bad things necessarily either.

Cut off your hand and stab out your eye when a problem right?
-But is that only your perspective or mine too-

In this case someone always leaves.

Maybe it is not so sad to part ways again.

I know it's not forever if we don't want it to be.

And a connection always exists in our hands over the Net.

So good-bye until we meet face to face again.

Have fun.

Make friends.

God bless you in college and beyond.

REM World

What is the point of dreams?

The brain attempting to make sense of chaotic thoughts?

The sub-conscience working through suppressed matters?

An externally given message about the future?

What do I think dreams are for?

All.

I've had personal experience.

I've written down over 70 of my dreams to date.

Some random. Some meaningful. Some I wish were real.

The dream world is as much in real settings as it is a fantasy space.

Many dreams correlate to a current crush.

(Sometimes old crushes visit my REM world.)

Yet other dreams wrap into an entire mini story.

Highly complex and usually related to a book/media I read/saw.

Dreams correlating to the future?

Although I doubt any significance, I have experienced it.

A spider I was holding, actually scared myself awake.

<next day: held a spider like the one in my dream>

(one of those common wild ones which like street lights at night)

One where my focus was on a friend leaving for college,

But they were noticeably heavier than real life.

<next day: same friend mentions college freshmen gain about 15 lbs.>

(Oh yeah that was weird)

Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not.

But the correlation is always discovered after the fact. 

Not psychic.

However, who am I to say the possibility doesn't exist.

Dreams are the place I can go to work out puzzles.

Where I can enjoy my own reality.
Remembering the REM world is the most satisfying.

Trigger

To dad:

Mom said she'll be back tomorrow by lunch.

<Too bad. You're eating lunch with me.>

(clear malice and spite in tone and comment)

You could have just said "okay"...

(can't decide between anger or cry)

(immediately texts friend who understands the situation)

(arrive at house)

(immediately goes upstairs to room)

(opens window and sits on roof listening to music)

(continues conversation with friend)

I wish I could go to moms house.

I don't want to be here.

Considering feelings, don't want to return here after college either.