Paradox

I am exhausted yet I have too much energy. 

My thinking is clouded but my mind is clear. 

I wish to be alone and I desire to be cuddled. 

I feel weightless. 

I feel compressed by the air over my head. 

I laugh often at the smallest wonders. 

I am unconsciously darkened.

I want a whole day of doing nothing.

I want to ride my bike until I can no longer move. 

I want to sit in a small space.

I want to lay out in an empty forest clearing. 

I want to listen to relaxing music. 

I want to play high-energy music so loud I can't think. 

I want to sleep now. 

And I wish xe was around to sleep here next to me... 

To feel the electricity spark between us...

To feel the sense of peace wash over... 

To feel the simple satisfaction of being in the same place.

Denial

Roadblock. Gap. Irrational. Understandable.

A defense mechanism. A preservative. A traitor.

Run. Don't stop running. Learn realization.

I'll keep patience.

I'll give the chance of overcoming denial.

I know. It's a scary step.

It's a step requiring faith.

Take even a hop and your world be flattened.

Continue a steady path to rebuild.

Denial is fire.

You can attempt to hold it.

One day your protective layer will be used;

You will learn the meaning of a burn.

Denial is a separator.

It's secret lies in its passive nature.

Before you even know, you've lost.

At least the effects are reversible.

Too bad it's an obstacle challenging to conquer.

I have faith; denial is not the end-all be-all.

Your world will re-settle;

Your comfort level will readjust.

My Perspective

I see the obvious.

I see the aesthetic everyone can detect.

I see how acts and underlying factors make for something desirable.

I lack the desire.

It's like looking through glass;

Everything is visible,

But I cannot get to it.

Nor do I want to in this case.

I'm okay standing on the outside.

Being a passive observer teaches you.

Now what about the other?

What about my side, the one less common?

Only unrestrained imagination can scratch the surface of understanding.

Again I see the obvious.

Anyone can see the serenity of a mountain view;

Only a few are blessed to sense the wonder about its existence.

It's beautiful, and you can't help but admire it.

It is not a thirst;  it is amazement.

It is the feeling of

"How can this gift exist? How can I be blessed enough to cross its path?"

Frame of reference?

Sure:

That's what it's like with xer.

Now scale it back to generality:

It is a magnet.

It is a natural proclivity to seek it out.

It is.

Just because it is difficult, 

Even impossible to understand,

Does not mean others are not experiencing it.